the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
