): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
