YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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