We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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