I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
