peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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