my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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