Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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