I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
