I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
