What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
