I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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