Will you blow on my dice?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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