Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
