I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
