these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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