i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
