Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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