Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
