We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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