Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
it glows. i had to have it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
