It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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