I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
