Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
