so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
