the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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