I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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