did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Dignity is for republicans.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
