Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
