we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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