I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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