I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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