woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
