Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
