Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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