need another drink. this is the easiest way
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
