Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
