I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
