in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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