i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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