yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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