Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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