...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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