You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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