I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
