everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Randomize
