DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
