We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
