that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You are the jesus of drinking
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
