And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Pants are for mortals
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
